Mood of the day: feel like self harm

Life

this word looks simple and easy to read

but Life contains loads of complicated things until u can't even imagine

everyone thought my life is perfect, some of them even wish that they have my life

yea it looks nice that ou dad is in the medical field, a foreign mother and I was originally from the UK, can have anything I want ... but is not as nice as it seems ...

baba was very hard on me, 3 daughters, I'm the one who get beaten and scolded the most ^^

BIG but tiny sis is very good in studies, she always scored high grades, the way she thinks and lifetime of a knowledge is exactly the same like my baba, very good in piano .....

idiot sis was cute that will make ppl felt warm in their hearts 

  while I am the one who always scored bad grades except for 1 subject which is english, not attractive or cute, relatives always look down on me 

my mum said I am very different and weird

she said I am already very weird when I was 2 ... only mummy can handle and understand me

well in malaysia, having good grades is everything ... as for talent *piano and violin* are the best

I sign up for ballet but my dad side of the family think is useless

I dun care I even sign up for modern and tap

all my dance certificates are distinctions and I scored distinction in jazz bronze as well 

dad was shocked and amazed ... but still I am the loser within 3 daughters

to tell the truth ...I hate my study life

not just hate I am very scared of studies

everything was fine until dad wanna go back to Malaysia

I went to this kindergarden called eden ....

everytime when I reached home from that kindy, my mum will found out that my legs are red and swollen, I lied to her that I fell down or I played with frenz

I miscount or something then the teacher went crazy n mad and non-stop smacking my legs n pull my ear until my head touch the table, oh and I remember I talk too much then the teacher slap me n tape my mouth.

yea right eden my ass ~

after 14 years only then I told my mummy what really happened

my mummy felt  heart-ache and she cried ... oopsss .. teeeheee

u guys must be thinking what the hell are u nuts ?!!

well coz I thought that time I was wrong so I dun dare to tell my parents

primary teachers are horrible, I remember one of my punishment is 50 push-ups 

why ? coz I dunno how to answer a math question, see maths always brings me heavy punishment de lorrrrr .... hate maths so much !

until now I hate that teacher .... hate her sooo much until I really cant forgive her

she is horrible

she will pull ur hair and bang ur head against the blackboard or push u on the table n smack ur back

I know pass is the pass but still she scar me for life !

~*secondary life ... oh god .....*~

my high school

basically the schools that I went to are in the top list but this school is a black world for me  

 in form 1-2 a big mouth bully

she curse loudly about me

I dun mind if she curse me or whatever but there is one thing I MIND SO MUCH is SHE CURSE MY PARENTS AS WELL ....

she even curse that  "my dad is a doctor for pigs"

I was thinking WTF .... what did I DO TO YOU ??? ok fine but WHAT DID MY PARENTS DO TO YOU .... 

not just cursing she even made me miss the bus by lying to the bus driver .... 

2 years of cursing from her is really very tiring you know .... I have feelings .....  

*~ form 3 ~*

this is the only pic of me when I was 15

was very into punk and gothic style .... ahyaaaa really regret I didnt cam-whore much  

 one of the science teacher complain my hairstyle

is too "stylish" ...ZzzZZZzzz

yea that time I have spiky hairstyle

I pierced my nose at that age as well

nah me with my nose pierced but this is me when I was 17-ish la

I have 3 very good frenz and I love going to school on that time

5 years of high school that is the only year I'm happy with, isn't my life sad or not

~*form 4*~

ppl have something which is called SWEET 16 ....

mine was BITTER 16

everything changed when I was in form 4

my 3 best frenz went to different classes

so I made frenz with other ppl

well end up I did ... and I thought that they are my besties until I really do cherish n love them so so much .... but end up with HUGE HUGE disappointment

they've been back stab me and hate me for a long long time

*this called 2 face*

2 face ppl are the most dangerous human being on the planet

one reason they hate me is bcoz (I am straight forward) 

well hello ~ one time when we were having a conversation they said "ooooo I prefer ppl to be straight forward", yea they like ppl to be straight forward but end up stab me until my flesh is soooooo bloody rotten .... I am a very straight forward person and yes I do agree the truth hurts, but that's what it is ...

from that on they made me I dun dare to be myself ....

I cried when I get home ..... I bit my tongue until I can taste blood when I was on the bus on the way home

I turn down my gothic style bcoz felt very uncomfortable when ppl stare at me when I was in public

turn down my gothic style but still will stick to the black and white

big cross and wears black ....

wear much smooth looking clothes but will still have Jack Jack ~ ^^

 handmade voodoo doll ~ ^^

~*form 5*~

more die die die ~!

coz

this time is 1 gang back stab me arrrrr ..... and they stab me loudly to let the class hear

trust me I didnt even talk to them much and I seriously dunno what's going on and have no idea why they hate me .... THEY HATE ME FOR NO REASON .....

there was one time they said something bad about me very loudly until I confront them

I said "what did I do to make u guys hate me so much ? what's ur problem?"

one said " I'm not talking to you I'm talking to the fan."

the whole gang burst out laughing ...

*VOMIT BLOOD!!*

I named them the hypocriticalz

then there is one biatch made up dramatic horrendous stories about me and made my form3 mates dun like me anymore ~ she spoiled my reputation !

childish *

my fren n companion

she is very nice but made me wanna strangle her at times coz she is very slow and stupid

ppl always bully her as well ....

basically she is the loser of the class and I am as well ... so loser be frenz with loser and we are losers together .... but she is very very nice and she hates the hypocriticalz and the story telling biatch too ~ yay !!!!

me age of 17 ~

this time the hypocriticalz called me a DRAG coz I get my brows done ....

christ my hair was so short ...

stupid school rules

I was a member of Leo Club =)))

the juniors love me ~ seriously ....

as for in school ~ that's the only time I am happy when I'm having leo club activities and wushu

coz the ppl there love me to bits ~ awwwwwwwww ...

everything went on smoothly when my SPM exam was around the corner and sexy sha saved me by wanting me to sit behind her and the hypocritz just shut their fucking mouth ...

so yeah I wasn't very happy and I know the whole class dun like me but still I clenched my teeth and work with them for the graduation performance ... and I didnt argue with them although they kept on stepping my tail ....

patience and peace in mind is the key ....

basically I dun wan to argue with them bcoz I dun wanna lower my standard ...

it is hurtful by receiving loads of critiques but still dun have to argue with those kind of ppl

~*Graduated from High School ....*~

then went to the national service !!!!

I cherish every moment when I was in NS, I love all of my frenx from NS bcoz they are the ones who brought me the true feeling of friendship,they brought me back the real me and they brought me happiness ... I've already blogged about my ns life anyway and u lot might get bored if I blog about my ns life again ~

 (I didn't put my nose stud coz there was this guy said I will look more pretty if I get rid of it)

hey be more pretty okaaay ~~~ I wanna be more pretty ~ lolx ! so yea I took it off ~ ta-dah !

~*College*~

so basically after ns I still have months before going to London 

my dad dun wan me to lay at home doing nothing 

so he sent me to a mass communication college coz he said I dunno how to communicate with others =.="" .... with frenz yes I do know how to communicate but with parents I really dunno how ...

I wanna sign up for an art college

coz I love art and I wanna learn and master my drawing skills before heading to the UK

but my dad disagree, he think art is useless 

I did discuss this college thingy thing with my mum, my mum understands and she was an art student as well, but end up my parents argue at each other .... 

well no worries, I have happy moments when I was in this college ~

nononono dun misunderstood, this pic is for our assignment okay ~

NAH ~!!!! HAPPY TIMES =D !!!!

after a few months ~

age 18-19 ~

~*Life in LONDON ~ =)))*~

I love my frenz which I'm having right now !!!!

LOVE U FAMILY !!!!!!!!!!!!!

got a tattoo at the age of 18 ~

more happy, open and crazy as before ~ !!!

~*age 19*~

camwhore with my tattoo ~

hope that everything will be fine for me next year ^^

XOXOXOXOXOXO

recent video when in college ~

yep imogen bang my head when I was making fun *ouchie ~* 

yep my life now is nice and smooth, and quite scared ppl will hate me in college when I was like "OMG ~! did she hate me ??"

and they are like "who will dare hate you ~ you are nice n everything."

so yea, until now I still dunno why the high school bitches hate me ~ anyway that's my life story ~ u guys must be wondering how about relationships during high school ??? well my relationship isn't that good and I dun have the fate with relationship ... even the relationship that I'm having right now is on a tangled web .... 

p/s : my dad look up on me now when he saw the work that I've done and he like my art work ^^

*END*